12:16AM - Civilian life sucks

Man.....this bullshit civilian life sucks......these fucking candy ass, punk ass civilian government fucks........bitchin' and whinning about tough times.......What the fuck, over?  No one is shooting at you, right?  So what the fuck is your problem?......and as much as Mrs. Van is hating it.............I am REALLY thinking of re-upping if I can.  The re-up bonuses.....and benies.....you know.

I've never experience more back stabbing, ass kissing, nut sucking, bullshit than I have since starting this shit over 20 years ago.  I've found myself to have become to dislike working for the civilian government and dealing with the average American and their narrow minded, short termed, self centered, ego centric horseshit.......I now understand why the PsyOps guys grumble like they do.

The thought of deploying again to some 3rd world shit hole to fight , or die, is more entertaining than dealing with the fucking beruearcrats (SP...yes, I'm been imbibing so my spelling is off...fuck you)  that I'm dealing with now.   I think I"m going native........I'm feeling I have more in common with the locals overseas..than my fellow American.


BUT......being with the kids again and having to leave them again would be a bit difficult...........as much as I love Mrs. Van........she knows what my soul craves...........action..........but to be away from my kids.....seeing them grow and bonding with them.  Talk about a kick to the gut.

*heavy sign*........As with many an American.........there are many other factors that play into things...........thank you ex-Pres Bush....I hope you burn in Niffelheim......you lame ass son-of-a-bitch............the next 6 months will be a guidance as to what the future holds for us....I don't really wan't to re-up......but I'm thinking it's a harsh reality..........I need better pay, better benies, and more stability and I ain't getting it outside of the military.

Re-upping as 11bang bang or 18super are my options............thanks..........18 I guess will be it.......

12:09AM - For the love of white people.

Tracy Lawrence - Find out who your friends are
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ysgAbwKub7Y&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ysgAbwKub7Y&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

White people are funny.  Stupid alot of the time.....IMO.  I love it when they talk about immigrants and foreigners coming to North America and Europe and imposing their cultural and religous views upon the existing people.  Oh my FUCKING god...who do these bastards think they are......ahhhh, they're non-white folk.  Yeah....let us conviently forget that we (which I am one of) white people have invaded and fucked more than so many non-white cultures and forcibly imposed our views upon them. 

So......I'm over at Odinist.net and have to stroll through a few BULLSHIT threads where I hear/read how unhappy them white heathens are that non-whites are having their views and/or opinions expressed and having local changes made.  How dare they....those darkies.....do pray tell.  The only thing missing is a 'Hush yo mouth."

Now, if any of you mother fuckers from there are reading this........you can kiss my white ass and stick your white-phobic heathen bullshit up your ass and choke on it.  You pricks.  You have the nerve to yell and holler when Christians oppress you (mainly when it's prison ministry) ........but your all willing to bitch and whine about other minority groups trying to speak up and express their view. You fucking hypocrits.  You heathens are NO better than Christians.   And those heathens who stay silent out of concern about negative comments being levied against you.............you can go fuck yourselves as well..........your a silent accomplice to hate.  Your lack of speaking up only gives strength to those hypocritical racists and haters in our faith.  

For all the crap I saw Odinist.net talk about when Odinist.com was taking over by a white power group.........you have no room to talk........your just less open and honest about it.  At least Odinist.com has the guts to be open about their hate..........you fucking cowards at Odinist.net don't. 

11:17PM - The Falcon Banner

http://www.darkerprojects.com/falconbanner.php

The Falcon Banner
By the twenty-second century, mankind had stretched forth its hand to command the stars. Other races were discovered, and, as the human sphere of influence expanded, they were happy to live in peaceful coexistence, and humanity was on the verge of an evolutionary leap.

The Terran emperor was the first to ascend to the next step of human evolution. His advisors, who now styled themselves holy clerics, sought to force the other races to see the light of their religion. They began to subjugate the other races to the will of the empire. The Amsus, who saw the Empire as decadent, illogical and chaotic, waged war upon it. Admiral VonGrippen, the brightest military mind in centuries, betrayed the empire, and removed the entire home fleet, collapsing the jump gate after them, leaving Earth and the Empire to be squashed under the heel of Amsus oppression.

Now, three hundred years after the fall of the Terran Empire, humans find themselves the subject race, Stagnating on their own world unable to evolve either technologically or otherwise. It is into this oppressive world, that the most unlikely of men are thrust into the roles of heros.

based on The Falcon Banner, a novel by Christopher Patrick Lydon

--------------

That's from the website.  This is a story of a police officer (Darien Taine) on Earth in the future where aliens have taken over.  The officer is framed for murder by the aliens and flees into space and recruits a variety of other humans and aliens that eventually form into a rebel force that try to free earth.

The story is written by CP Lydon, a gay writer, and the story has a twist of that nature.

http://christopherlydon.gayauthors.org/

Now, if that doesn't throw you off, the story (which covers four books) is awesome. When I first listened to the story I thought it was a standard space opera.   It's about Darien's struggle as he comes to accept his relationship with a...for lack of better wording....a genetically created slave....that happens to be male that he rescues and his struggle to help free earth.   It's a damn good story....ripping space opera and love story.  The first link is the audio version of the book which is available for online reading at the author's website (the 2nd link).  This series of books has become one of my favorites just for the sheer story telling.  If your a 'phobe, you'll shy away. If your not, you'll probably like it.  

I'll be honest, at first I was ogged a bit when I realized the love interest was between the main character and another dude.  And over the period of two weeks as I listened to the audio book I thought about it. I figured if it had been between a guy and a gal I wouldn't have given a second thought, but between a guy and a guy I did...and that irked me.  I like to think I'm pretty open minded...but since I've never read or listened to gay fiction before, I was kinda...surprised at hearing about a relationship develop between a man and another man.  It was fascinating and bothersome at the same time. At first I thought,  hey Van, if you think this is cool, what will others think of you?  Fuck the others, it's a dam good love story and sci-fi yarn.  You sure?  Yeah....just not used to hearing about love in the way as it develops.

Since then, I've gotten the book and listened to the story twice and read it once.  

I give it a 5 out of 5.  A solid, new, fresh story and I'm happy to recommend it to anyone.

11:25PM - Long Live Pres Bush and his Crusade!

John Lennon - Instant Karma
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/EqP3wT5lpa4&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/EqP3wT5lpa4&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Always one of my favorite songs, next to Sgt Pepper's Lonely Heart Band....even more so after I actually listened to the lyrics and the words he sang.

More so, as I find out that two of my ex-squaddies are trafficking in narcotics now....and stolen property on the side.

One of my married ex-squaddies is having an affair with another squaddie and has contracted herpies and has spread it to another female squaddie that he's fucking....keeping in mind that all three of them are married to different people.  Yeah.....it's almost as awesome when the first female dropped her fatigues in the middle of the fucking squad room to show the fucking herpies on her ass.....and the second chick lifted her fucking blouse to show the infection spreading up her side, from her crotch, to her breasts.  Class acts everyone here.

Another squaddie due to her drug addiction to pain killers from a back injury from an IED is one step away from prostituting her ass on the street...........and I have no doubt she'll be peddling her ass on the street before Dec for drugs.  Saw her today and she was strung out like a crack whore.  Her old man is stringing her along on painkillers so she'll do threesomes with him and his bi-sexual neighbors.

Another squaddie is involved in a smuggling ring bringing in "items" from China and re-selling them stateside....in the unit bay.  WTF, over?  Do we need Customs, or the Marshals here checking up on us?

All survivors of Bush's crusade against the muslims people.   All having hard time re-adjusting to the pussy-ass shit stateside in the US with all the PC punk asses.......IMO.


I've known all my squaddies for years....from 9 years to 2 years.   And the shit didn't start ruining their lives until 2 years ago.  Yeah.....thank Woden Bush/Chenney fucked their lives up. 

12:45AM - WTF!, over.

Gibson Miller Band - Big Heart
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tEE185DrxE

I've followed this band since they were doing bar gigs back in the 90's.  Love 'em...country/blues......everything goes better with the blues, not to mention that amazon at 0:55 and 1:51.....man, I knew this hot chick who looked damn near exactely like that.....she towered over me, but had the heart of a lioness ........ah yes........good times. 

Anyways.  Things are prit near the same as they were last time I touched based with y'all.  Treadhead, Dee Dee, Big Al, and the rest of us of are still driving on and getting by.    :)   Life is still sucking because the govt isn't doing shit for us and our problems.........but, we're still alive and have faith things might improve.  WoooooSahhh!  

Touch base with y'all in bit.

12:28AM - Punked...beat thier ass...or laugh

Sorry for the delay in response to everyone.....but....I will admit....I was punked by my unit peeps.  Those mother fuckers had worked some fake travel orders and scared the piss out of me.  I'm not due to deploy back to the 'Stan. 

I'm not afrraid to admit that I was FREAKIN' the FUCK out when they handed me the papers.....but....after I nearly had a moment of DESPERATION they fessed up to prankin' me.

Now....the only reason I didn't KILL them is the relief I felt rush over my body.  Fuckin' jerkbags.  Now...should I beat the shit out of them or just lett it slide.

1:10AM - Getting old

Survivor - I can't hold back
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/e98UOB0etdo&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/e98UOB0etdo&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

I'm getting pissed the fuck off.  ***edit shit that don't matter to you***

So, as I was thinking about......at 40' something, I've decided I want to start taking gymnastic classes.    "Oh really?  Are you sure Mr. Van?"

Yeah, did you not fucking here me?  I want to learn how to do tumbles, cartwheels and jumping fucking splits....what part of that did you not understand?  I was watching this with Mrs. Van.

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat - One more angel in heaven
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/8LUm9lownTo&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/8LUm9lownTo&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

So, as I begin to check the local gymnastics clubs I find that they specialize in kids...not old farts like me.  Talk about fustrating.  Check out that big old boy at minute 3:17 whirl that chickie around...hel, I can do that.....and from minute 4:20 on....

Now....If things work out like I'm working on for this next year.....I can make all this happen....even If I have to watch this video 10,000 times....I will be doing the shit they can.   Yeah, at 3:25 I'll be doing that or ending up in the hospital. 

I've lived through broken ribs, broken feet, gun shots to my neck and back, knife stabs to my arms, legs, face, and torso....not counting explosions, ass kickings, and beat downs.....if I can't do fucking gay ass flips, twirls, and shit....then I might as well kill myself.....besides...I know the chicks dig it when guys do this stuff.  Yeah....bitches....   ;)  You know you want me.

3:13AM - DazzedandConfused

For the last three weeks I've been literally in a daze.  I'm not sure if it's from the medications or drink....but when I wake up in the morn I've felt a heavy fog over my mind and felt like I've been looking through a fog or mist and I've being having to think and think again to get my thoughts clear so that they make sense to me. 

Meanwhile, my body has been acting strong....I've been able to go out for jogs of miles at a time and been happily aloft. 

All the while, my stomach has been aching and puking up half of what I've been intaking....not sure if it's my new meds or or just my mental thoughts. 

It's now 3 am... I have to be up in 3 hours...time to rest.

10:58PM - Nervous fingers

Tesla - Love Song (does anyone think I like this song?)  :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0EgScII7GU

Again....I kick myself for dredging up the past.  I posted on a board I had almost forgotten that I was a member of.....until the night before last when a message popped up in my email and I was flying high as a kite on my meds.   And, like a fuckin' wack, I replied to it.  This aspiring writer is asking about combat relate injuries to the leg area and like in a movie....a scene triggered in my mind.  really.  

My fingers are jumping all over the place tonight......and Mrs. Van is pissed that you rat bastards have done this.....If I look at her she gives me that look that's she pissed that I'm talking to you mother fuckers......Hope your happy.......but she's patient and enduring.  After 16 years of my shit, I would hope so.  Woden AND Frigg bless that woman.     :)


I was on patrol with my heavy squad.  Heavy in the sense that instead of 12 fucking life takers and heart breakers, we were humping heavy with 21 killers....I was humping the SAW (Squad Automatic Weapon to you REMFs) and we had walked into an ambush.  I was in the tail with the squad leader and RTO (radio man) when the point man took fire from an AK.....as soon as the fire erupted I started to run forward and as I round a corner an insurgent poppped up an  threw a RKG 3.  The fucking thing bounced off a wall and landing in the street before us.  When it went off, it put three pieces of shrapnel into my left knee/leg.    I popped a three second burst into the insurgent and put him down...but the grenade took me down as well.  I was humped out to an evac until a humvee could transport my fat ass to a field hospital where a three hour surgery took place on my leg....and without exploding.....I was rather PISSED THE FUCK OFF ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

It was a fews months of therapy after the surgery and I was back on my feet and kicking ass again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Fuck yeah.......*sigh*.......I lived for the fighting then.  Now....I'm a bit tired of it........I'm tired of seeing my squad mates getting chewed up and hearing my officers bitch and complain about it.  Like we made this decision?  Hello?  I didn't ask to be shot at .....it was that prick Bush who started this shit.  So, I demanded I be allowed to go back into the shit...and got it.   In spades.

Sorry, I digress....I was bitchin about you guys....not about that fucking jackass Bush!....*deep breath*....Mrs. Van just asked about me that....thanks guys, she know's I'm upset now.    She's now pissed at me because of you.  Hope your happy.  Did I mention that the Dr's have me on high blood pressure meds?  And my fingers are rocking this keyboard with tap tap tap tap tap and wiggle wiggle wiggle.

And...amongst it all....Litltle Van dude is there to give me his support.  From the mouth of babes.  :)  He just glows when I hang with him.  He's the only one who doesn't think I'm whacked.    Him and my old man....who did his time in Korea.......those two think I rock.  One to young to know, and one who's been there before me.


And now...for my old peeps, there's a new face peeking at my/our world. .....I've come to think of it as "our" would...since you've followed me through the years of stuff.

and as my fingers hover and vibrate over the keys....Mrs. Van flirts her eyes at me......so, I'd better jet before she tells me "Enough, you need to log out.".... sorry...need to run.  ;)  Keep the faith all.

12:03AM - Arrrrhhhh....Pirate eyepatches and swirling flags.

I appologize if things have been a bit hazy lately.  I'm afraid things have been a bit busy lately for me.  Not unlike Dead or Alive's Spin me Right round, baby, right round.

I've been through a round of examinations and proddings withe doctors for that last few months and what not and have been giving some new medications that will make me better in the long run...which have seemed to make things easier for me.  Though, tonight, I'm rather fucked up.

At the moment I'm rather hard pressed to describe things, but just wanted to let you all know I"m doing better in therapy.  Cheers!   :)

10:47PM - Memorial Day

This morning I held a private service to remember those who have served before me, are serving now, and those who will come after me.  May Tyr and Thor watch over them all..

Now, to all my cyber and real friends who are either commies, hippies, pinko's, or gay, or left wingers....please understand that during my upbringing, it was common to use that string of curses when I'd get mad at those who disparaged the military.......I do understand it's a sterotype and not true of all who fall into those categories, but instinctevly I use that as curse. 

This afternoon I talked with my Dad who's prior service USMC, and we talked briefly about Memorial Day....he mentioned that he went to the local parade and mentioned how some of the local commie, hippie, pinko, fag left wingers had spit at the service members in the local parade as they went by.   As he said that I went from calm to pyscho in 1 second and said enough things to make Mrs. Van speak up from the living room.  Now, my old man just took it all in stride, after 40 years of dealing with it,  but I was uber-raged by some piss-ants disrepecting my fellow soldiers!   That's in part why I don't go to parades these days.....along with that "not taking your hat off incident during the national anthem" a few years back when I almost went crazy on someone.  Mrs. Van didn't like that......not at all....yeah...

Anyways, we went and saw Night at the Musuem II and it wasn't too bad.    But, before that me and the littlest Vantru snuck into Terminator Salvation for a few minutes and .....well, after the first few boring minutes.........yeah THEY SUCKED! it got pretty cool......but as I was putting the little 'Tru's to bed tonight one of them asked if that's what it's like......and yes...kinda sorta; though without uber-killer machines.  In the movie I thought they did a nice job of protraying how professional the soldiers were,  and the stuff that is normally viewed as "Uh-ah!" is just routine for the average soldier....it's just the job....that's all Ma'am.  But my kids thought it was cool as all get out.    While I don't try to "recruit" their brains into the military game, I don't discourage.....yes, the movies make it all look cool, but they don't cover how sad it can be......John Conner lost his whole team to the machines, but it made it him look seriously cool while doing it.  Fucking movies.

BUT.....on top of ALL THAT.........I was out hiking and a thunderstorm broke out.........which was cool........BUT, my headphones got water in them and crapped out.   Fucking pissed me the fuck off.  I paid damn near 9$ US for those things.  ;)   Now I gotta go get a new set this week.  And I was in the middle of listening to the Hobbit by JRR Tolkien. The dwarves and Bilbo were justing fighting of the spiders of Mirkwood and my left earpiece went out.  Now, it's bad enough that I missed parts over the thunderclaps and fucking lighting flashes, but did the water really need to short out that earpiece? Huh?  Really now.  Well, it dried out later, but still is a bit off.  Now I gotta spend 9$ US and get a new one.  

Ok, that's all I got tonight......Cya l8r.  ;)  Stay safe.

11:50PM - The elephant draws near

Tesla - Love Songe

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/p_2w4vl9mt8&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/p_2w4vl9mt8&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

One of the all time songs of my mind and generation.  A song that kept me going through many good times and bad...and always thinking of Mrs Van................


That aside....next week is the week.  There's a "push" coming and it's gonna happen then....that.....or the first week of June.  I just need to weather the storm and if so.......I'll be golden for a bit longer. I can't say for what......but I've put some things in order to make my life a bit better for the a while.   Woden willing I can weather the storm between now and the next three weeks. 

This is one of the last big pushes....just one  more after this and then I can I tell all......keep the faith all.  :)  I'll be in touch with the whole story soon.

11:56PM - November Tango Foxtrot

Fire Inc - Tonight is What it Means to be Young

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/NB_YKpo3qA8&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/NB_YKpo3qA8&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Life is good.  Mrs. Van and the kids are all good.  I'm doing good..though I have lost about 40lbs since I last talked with you all. Fucking stress is gonna fucking kill me.  I've dropped at least two pants size.  Don't worry, things are what things are.   Things have been good but strained....not with the family but with the govt.....I don't think I'll be posting again till after May...The situation has gotten a bit intense and is coming to a head. 

Keep your asses down....them ass shots hurt like hell.  ;) 

Touch base with you in 3-4 weeks.  

11:33PM - Physical results

Waylon Jennings & Willie Nelson - If I can find a clean shirt
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/LbcIF1J_jnI&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/LbcIF1J_jnI&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>


The physical was good, though I can't say I really enjoy the experience with Dr. Jellyfinger.  "For men over 40 it's recommended that the prostate be checked."  The doc says as she slips on rubber gloves.  "Bend over."  Thankfully her husband is in the Army as well, so she's tender with me. 

Joy.  Nothing like a slippery finger stuck up your ass and rubbing your prostate gland at 9:30 in the morning.  Yeah, that made the rest of my day go smoothly.

The physical went good, except for the EKG....apparently I have a "schema"...hope I spelled that right.  No big, I had that during the last physical.  It just means one of my heart chambers is not pumping as smoothly as the other 3 and I have to go see a cardiologist for a stress test.....again.  Shit, the amount of time I put in the gym each day (2+ hours) doesn't kill me so I'm not to worried about a re-accuring heart boo-boo.  You know....wearing 80 pounds of gear and crap each day in the fucking oven of the dessert can cook the hel out of a soul....and keep the weight off.  Outside of that...it's a struggle.  

Ok.....that's it for now.  Update next week.  Stay safe all.  ;)

11:52PM - Old Ghosts

Gary Allan - Smoke Rings In The Dark

I would embed this.....but I FUCKING CAN"T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Why, I don't know, but in my mind I blame the RIAA. Fucking scumbags.

So, as Treadhead and Big Al would say......Woooosaaaa!  Calm down guy.  Wooosaaa.  Caaaalm down.  Yeah.  Ok, so I'm good.

If your intrested in the music I'm listening too, please go to
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3_7ph6XK-g&feature=channel


Believe it or not, I'm making progress.  I go see the Doc tomorrow for a checkup and I'm confident I can lie like the best.  It worked in Gulf I and I'm sure it'll work during Gulf II.  "Yes Ma'am, I am doing better."   Except for when the "itches" come and I get all creepy crawly and ants and I feel uncomfortable as all get out.  Sorry, I know that's non-techinal langauge.

My appologies  for the spelling....I have been imbibbing.  As such, my voicebox is bit talkative and my fingeres a bit clumsy.

Life stateside has been OUTSTANDING........time with Mrs. Van has been........wonderful.  Of course, if I'm honest, I know Mrs. Van has learned to deal with my quirks.  Such as when I take a deep breath..and sigh....she just looks at me and smiles and kknow I'm calming myself from something that irritates me.

I wish I could really convey how wonderful the feeling is of being backhome.  Waking up at 3:30am and not wondering what enemy is out there and trying to kill you....but knowing that your a foot away from the woman you love and that you can slide over and snuggle up against that sexy backside and sleep for another two hours.

Treadhead and  I were skirt around this. We don't discuss this....rather knowing that we both know that life downrange is like but not wanting to dwell on it and if I didn't mention it....Mrs Treadhead is knocked-up and due in the next year.  Ha!  So....take that Treadhead....responsibility catches up to ya!  In your face youngster.

Ok, 10 minutes.....Mrs. Van is muttering something....I can see her lips moving, but I can't hear whatever the fuck she is saying....since James Otto is singing "Girl I just got started loving you".  http://www.cmt.com/videos/unplugged/james-otto/201326/just-got-started-lovin-you.jhtml

*sigh*  Years of memories just rolled by......when I was single and then when I wasn't......joys and love and in between. It's really like that "Flash of life before my eyes" moment.  I quickly reviewed the trials and tribulations before strife and harmony.   5  minute warning....I can't believe I had to tell her that I was gonna go over there and nibble on her neck......she's being difficult.........I swear........women are jotun spawn at times........do they not understand that loving them down from head to foot is more important that "whatever".....specially after the kids have been put ot bed.....


Ok....I'll touch base with y'all after I see the Dr tomorrow.  Cross your tentacles that not only do I ace the phys bvut also the lotto...which is tomorrow.

Later days and better lays.  ;)

Van

12:59AM - NTR

As Flo would say, "November Tango Romeo".  Nothing to Report.  I can't think of a damn drama to report or a thing to bitch and whine about.  Life is rather good.  

I've managed to get back into my three workout a day routine.  Two hours in the morn. 1 in the afternoon and 2 in the evening and I'm feeling damn good.  Treadhead, Big Al, and SK are working out with me and....well....it's good.   It's good to have some hardchargers in the same train of thought and motivation. 

The only quirk in my life is that I've kinda sorta strayed away from Lady Gin.  Over the last few months I've pretty stopped drinking it and switched to vodka which is what Treadhead drinks.  I've thought about and I think it's a pyschological thing.  I drink it occassionally and ......get jumpy....and thing to other places and times.....and .......enough....my fingers are getting jumpy again.  Bad bad bad.  That's nervous thoughts being repressed and I don't want to think about.   Man, being avoiding saying that for months.  My hands get the nervous twitches when I start freaking about thinking about things., you know.

So, anyways, it's been easier to talk about things openly lately.  I feel good about that. I can tell Mrs Van things I wouldn't have mentioned months ago.    I sleep much better and my drinking is moderate.  I've switched back onto my 4-5 hour a night sleep schedule from downrange.  I still can't adjust to sleeping 6 or more hours.  It's awkward but not so bad in the big scheme. 

I've been avoiding LJ because I feel awkard about not having anything to talk about other than mundane life.  My life has become......normal I guess.   Perhaps thats why I'm hitting the gym more.  To compensate for the lack of gung-ho shit.   Interesting and probably tru.

The little Vans are happy to have me home because now they have someone to play basketball against.  Now, one on one is fair.....fucking three on one is a gang-up and those shits are not above it.  Buggers.  Cute, but still little shits.  :)

I think tomorrow I'm gonna walk up to the Walmart, about 3 miles down the road, and see about getingsome hightops so I have better ankle support when I'm going for a layup.  I'll show those little punks something. 

Ok, I have to be up in just over 5 hours so let me wrap this session up.  By the way, tonight is powerball night with the jackpot of 142 million.  That's a lot of shit there.  Keep your fingers crossed.

11:01PM - A man without a dream, or a love.....like a car without gasoline.

Ronnie McDowell - Your Gonna Ruin My Bad Reputation
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCoMuHkjYCc

Fucking RIAA, embedding is dead thanks to those fuckers. I hope they die of something horrible. Like AIDs while in a fiery car crash, with wild dingo's waiting to eat their flesh. 

Now, in my younger days I was kinda like Mr. Smith.  Yeah, yeah. I know. Male whore.  But damn I did love the ladies and all their charms.  Big/little, tall/short, you name it, I could find something to appreciate and I do see some ladies that  I do appreciate even to this day (but I'll never tell ya who ya are).   ;)    ......but, I was just back snuggling with Mrs. Van........and she still "WOWs" me.    You know, that kind that makes you sigh with appreciation as you lay by them.  16 years down the road and she still looks and feels good.   Women are so........sexy and tasty.  If  they weren't so emotional they'd be the perfect food.  

What was the vector for that? 

Well, as some of you recall, I have an amigo named Flo.  Seems like Flo was having some problems re-adjusting to life back home with the family. Which is easy to understand.  He and the wife had a trial separation. She moved back home with her Mum, and he stayed on by himself. 

Alot of guys and gals when faced with difficulties and adversities, flipped a mental switch.  It's what I've seen with victims of violent assaults and attacks.  When faced with the awkwardness of what he and his troop mates where doing, I guess it's to be expected.


So he arrives back home in the sunny UK........wait, that's a lie, is the UK ever sunny?.....and he goes out on a pisser with his squadron mates because he's afraid to go home and see his lady.  He knows he's changed, but he can't admit that he threw the "no emotion" switch.  So, Flo's having to learn to re-love his lady but he can't tell her, but he can tell me because I'm a friend.  Stupid git.

Of course, that makes me reflect upon my relationship with Mrs. Van and sixteen some odd years of trails, troubles, tribulations, and gray hairs and then I start getting chocked up and all mushey and shit that no hard core war vetran should get and that they should put on the John Wayne front and get that British stiff upper lip.   :)  You know....shit like that.

So, I talk to Flo and he cuts back on his drinking (hey, go figure), and stops in to see the regimental Dr, and explains the nightmares he's been having and takes up a gardening class to focus and relax.   Mrs. Flo will be coming home from Mums next month and we'll see how they go.

You know, coffee needs a cup.  Every lock needs a key.  Every rivers flows to the sea.  You know, they ain't much good without one to another.  Hammer and nail. Socks and shoes. One mate without another.  Can one live without another?  

Yep, but no so well, me thinks.  Love is like a car and gasoline.  One needs another.  Flo and Mrs. Flo. 

Fucking Disney love shit.  Ok, onwards.

8:57PM - Gooooooooooo Arsenal!!!!!!!!!!!

EXCITING game tonight.  Holy shit, did you guys see  that Pele type back kick block save against Aston Villa?  WOW WOW WOW.  That's a fucking Hollywood save.  

It's half time right now.  Those guys from Aston Villa are tough. We (Arsenal) are 1 point up.  The Prince (Harry) and his grandmother (the Queen of England) are longtimes fans of Arsenal.  Wonder if they're watching.

GO GUNNERS!!!!!

1:02AM - Tomorrow, we'll try again

No winna on that last ticket, but we'll try again tomorrow.   It's up to 34 million ($US dollars) and converted to pounds or ozzies (whatever the Aussies use) it's a lot.....a shitload of alot.  So there.  Perhaps I need to be more "sharing" and bump it up to $20,000 to each of my friends.  Not in one lump sum....but over a few years.  Hey, I have to deal with Mrs. Van and my mother-in-law......so cut me some slack.  I'll be bascially giving you my portion of it.  Buggers.

Nowhere Fast by Fire Inc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUwbQjm93Es&feature=related

Now, is it just me, or does Dianne Lane look super sexy hot?  That girl has stage prescene and works it.  She looks tasty enough to lick the spoon on.  ;)

I think it's the gloves.......gotta be.  Super noir sexy.


Or that thing around her neck. 

So, anyways.....William DaFoe looks like one evil/jotun mother fucker in this movie.  Creepy fuck....could be a ScrollBearer.......creepy fucks.   Talk about evil afoot.     Give's me the heeby jeebies just thinking about them bastards and what they're doing.

Yule is going good so far. Little Van started his Mother's Night ritual.  Heck, he was evening anxious to do it.  He's set up a Nissie altar up his room.  Makes me feel good.  He's even pouring over some book I got from The Troth or AFA for kids.  

Was explaining to him about the Asa and Vanic god/desses the other day.  He's eager, but still a bit spooked by all the stuff.  That little shit is gonna be a big star someday.....yes, yes, all parents say that.........but he's just like me, and with my wisdom he can do better than I did, and I did better than my old man, and he did better than old man...........see the process? Each step is one better. 


brb...the edge of lake is near by...really...the water is lapping againste my paws.

12:28AM - A mem viked from Mommiewolfie viked from Garpu, so in your face. Ha!

MW's replies preceed the "///", mine follow.

1. What are your nicknames? Tan, Taz. /// Van, Asshole, Panda

2. How do you style your hair? Either down or up in a bun (teamed with the spectacles I make quite the librarian) /// Buzz cut

3. What's new in your life right now? Tentative house shopping /// Re-adjustment

4. How many colours are you wearing now? 2, my blue work shirt and everything else is black  ///White shirt w/gold sun logo and white briefs.

5. Are you an introvert or extrovert? Introverted extrovert....Im real quiet and shy, unless Im being the loud centre of attention...Im one extreme or the other.  /// I'm a fucking outgoing butterfly fairie, what the fuck do you think?  I'm a bitchy/moody anti-social bum.  

6. What was the last book you read? Women with Attention Deficeit Disorder ///  Kilo Option by Sean Flannerty or something like that

7. Do you nap a lot? Only when depressed. /// No, the enemy can sneak up on you when you sleep.....they have a name...it is evil....or cat.....or cats (when in groups)....little fuckers meow and knead....damn claws...

8. If the person you secretly like is already taken, what would you do? If they are taken and staying that way, curse the fates and deal with it...then probably friend them. /// Yeah.....same traffic.  As the song goes, Love the One your With.  I think it's possible to love several, but it's difficult to deal with.

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days? The economic situation...and my personal economic situation. /// Money, I need more of it.  Now that I'm deskbound I'm feeling the pinch and having to heavily weigh my options. It sucks monkey nuts.

10. What's your favourite dessert? Chocolate mousse or warm apple crumble with custard (Mmmmm comfort food!)  /// I can't say. It's secret...but it's soooo good. A family recipe.

11. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? Without kids - 20 mins, with kids - 40 min to an hour (longer if the youngest hasnt had his meds). /// If I prep the night before, 10 min. Otherwise 30 mins.

12. What websites do you visit daily? LJ, Faceboook, Asatru Lore, Odinist.net, BiPolar World /// Classified.

13. Do you write fic? What was the last fic you wrote? Nope...actually lately I dont write much of anything  /// I'm trying.

14. Do you like to clean? Depends, sometimes I love to clean, other times Id rather have bamboo skewers inserted beneath my finger nails... /// Yes...it's my woo-sa.  I can relax and not worry about having to kill.

15. What's the last song that got stuck in your head? /// A-teens -Floor Filler.  Not really, but the other song is classified.  Really.

16. How many stuffed animals are within your range of vision currently? None. /// None, zero

17. Would you enter a relationship with your ideal partner, even if you knew he/she was seriously involved with/married to someone else and would never leave them? My ideal partner IS already in a relationship - with ME! Seriously though - if they are prepared to cheat on a serious relationship/marriage, they wouldnt be my ideal partner anyway. /// Hmmmm.....interesting question.....can I answer this as if I were a Mormon?  :P

18. What is your least favourite thing to do that you have to do every day? Cleaning out the litter tray....stinky cats!  ///  Go in to work/duty.